I was wearing a roll neck sweater the other day and my wife said I looked like a diseased penis. At first, I took deep offense and questioned whether I had made the right decision – not about the sweater, but about if she was truly the right one for me. But then I decided to lean into it, and now all I want to do is look like that. And Jamieson’s of Shetland’s Roll Necks, which are made in Scotland using the purest of wools from Shetland’s own sheep, will help me look like the most distinguished diseased penis in all the land. And for $125 a pop, I can swap out the colors based on the infection of the day! Brad, please don’t fire me.

For price and purchase info, visit End Clothing.