I’ve had an anxious knot in my stomach since last Tuesday. To be honest, I’m still in disbelief – although that may just be because I don’t want to believe it.

The statements that were made during the election were so over-the-top and in-your-face racist, misogynistic, homophobic, xenophobic, etc., I discounted their power. Not their power to hurt, but their power to attract. I genuinely believed that anyone with a modicum of human decency, regardless of their political leaning, would be reflexively repelled by the things being said, and do what they could to prevent him from taking office.

I’m the first to admit that Hilary was not an ideal candidate. But as far as the lesser of evils go, it seemed to me like the difference between stubbing your toe, and shattering your spine.

Now, in the wake of his victory, I am overwhelmed by two feelings: fear and disappointment.

Fear of the havoc that is about to be unleashed, and the devastation it’s going to cause. Fear of the effects this presidency is going to have on the environment, gun control, healthcare, wealth distribution, corporate regulation, and the rights of anyone who isn’t a straight white male.

And then there’s the disappointment. As the data has clearly shown, it wasn’t the “uneducated” and “disenfranchised” who put him in office, it was “moderate,” middle class whites. Not the people getting into vitriolic arguments on Facebook, but the parents of my friends. My neighbors. Local business owners. People I never thought would willingly align themselves with such blatant and unrepentant hate.

In trying to make sense of why they did, I’ve only been able to come up with two conclusions, both of which are equally heartbreaking. 1) these people are way more hate-filled than I ever realized (or they ever let on). 2) their decision wasn’t driven by hate, but by political goals (be it more restrictive abortion laws, stricter immigration laws, looser gun control laws, etc). And their want for those goals is so great, they’re willing to accept violence against others in order to get them; all of the racism, misogyny, homophobia, xenophobia, etc. is, to them, a justifiable means to an end. Both conclusions have shaken my faith in those around me.

So what does all that have to do with Well Spent?

While we’ve always had a not so secret agenda here of encouraging people to vote with their dollars and support brands that actively try to mitigate the harm their supply chains cause (be it environmental, social, or otherwise), ultimately, Well Spent is just another distraction. A place to ogle pretty things and forget about what’s happening.

And though I do believe there is some value to distraction, and that it’s healthy and necessary to take a break from from the woes of the world from time to time, in order for us to make it through the next four years, we’re going to need to stay active and diligent – and fuck if I’m gonna dedicate my time and effort to running a website that distracts people from doing that.

That doesn’t mean Well Spent is going away. It doesn’t mean we’re gonna stop writing about clothes altogether. But it does mean some changes are coming.