I can’t get one of these Gitman Vintage Cotton/Silk Camp Shirts. Not because the 91% cotton / 9% silk, Pennsylvania-made shirts aren’t sexy AF. The problem is they are TOO sexy. And will cause me to become so attractive to both women and men that it would fill my life with all sorts of complications that I’m just not prepared to deal with at this moment. Of course, I am unreasonably good looking to begin with, which is why the shirts would be potentially dangerous for me. For the rest of you, however, here’s an opportunity to become the sexiest version of yourself, with one of these $230 aphrodisiacs.

For price and purchase info, visit lost & found.