I was born paralyzed on one side of my face due to a semi-botched C-section. I tell you this because I know that you’ll only see the first two sentences of this post on the homepage, and I want to get your attention. Now that I have it, look as this fucking dope ass Mac Coat from Wings + Horns. The cotton/nylon body is water-resistant. Hidden placket = schwing!. Two-way zipper – can you hear my heart palpitating? And it’s the perfect length (read: you won’t look like a pervert in it). I’m sorry I lured you in the way I did, but I didn’t want you to miss out on this masterpiece of a coat, especially now that it’s 40% off.

For price and purchase info, visit Wings + Horns.