I was totally one of those kids who thought they were a badass for hanging out in front of a 7-11 even though there were posted “No Loitering” signs. Although, I guess I didn’t seem that mischievous, since I was never asked to leave. Not once. Maybe if I had showed up in one of these Engineered Garments Loiter Jackets it would have been a different story. Made in NYC, the lightweight cotton jackets have a slightly boxier fit, under which you can stash stolen goods, drug paraphernalia, and weapons – all things I am deathly afraid of. But the cashier wouldn’t know that, so he might finally come outside and ask if I’m actually going to buy anything. Lifelong dream fulfilled and it only took a $280 jacket to make it happen.

For price and purchase info, visit Mohawk General Store.