Boy oh boy, Captain Planet would fucking HATE these Ventile Ball Caps from American Trench. Not because they’re bad for the environment or anything like that, but because the low-profile, 6-panel caps are made in Connecticut from 100% cotton Ventile, which repels wind and water. That’s, like, half of what he’s made of! All that leaves him with is Earth, Fire and Heart, and what the hell is he gonna make with those? As much as I hate to block his blessings, these $65 hats are too perfect for spring for me to deny. And let’s face it: the environment is already fucked anyways.

For price and purchase info, visit American Trench.